The Psychotic Doctor

I had a friend who said often: Wherever you are, be there. He meant that if you found yourself in a place, situation, circumstance that you should take full advantage of what is available to learn, obtain, receive. I have found this saying especially helpful to me when I find myself in a place I do not want to be. It helps me survive the experience. Rather than being upset and depressed or angry about the circumstance, I generate in my head the effort to obtain something of benefit to myself. It helps.
WHEREVER YOU ARE, BE THERE!

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director
what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should
be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her
to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use
the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No," said the Director, "a normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a room with or without a view?

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1.You have enough clothes.
1.You have too many shoes.
1.I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

To read more humor,
Click Here.

It strikes me that many, manybe most, people are never happy with what they have. There is always one more thing and one more item and one more "gotta have" which people seek. Certainly it is appropriate to seek to improve one's self and one's condition. Improvement is a human requirment. But lack of appreciation often attends the desire to have or do more. Thankfulness is becoming a lost emotion in the human experience.

OK, guys...the Guy's Rules were nice, BUT THESE are the real rules:

1. The Female always makes the Rules.
2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. The Female is never wrong.
4. No Male can possibly know all the Rules.
5. If the Female suspects the Male knows all the Rules, she must immediately change some or all of the Rules.
6. If the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding
which was a direct result of something the Male did or said.
7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent of the Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. Any attempt to document these Rules could result in bodily harm.
14. If the Female has PMS, all Rules are null and void.

Many people wonder why they have problems in life; what is the purpose of problems; why do problems happen to otherwise good people. Religious people who in their minds are attempting to live correctly (obey God's commandments) wonder why they have probles. People sometimes blame God or become angry with God or lose faith in God because of problems. Less or non-religious people do not target God for their problems, but often target some person or group as the cause of their problems and become angry or lose faith or cooperation with the person or group. Sometimes a person will become angry with a friend, a family member, a co-worker as if that person caused the problem.

So, what is the reason for problems? Do you want my simple answer? Read on.