Humorous Sayings

Funny sayings that help bring a smile.

  • Having kids is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have any, chances are neither will you. Dean Martin (and others)
  • I met my quota for stupid people this year. I am no longer taking applications. Maxine
  • If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at who he gave it to. Anon
  • Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story. Doc’s father (GW)
  • No good deed goes unpunished. Unknown
  • Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan says: OH SHIT! SHE’S AWAKE. Maxine
  • I eat my peas with honey
  • I’ve done it all my life
  • It makes the peas taste funny
  • but it keeps them on my knife
  • Goin’ down the hill doin’ 90 miles an hour
  • when the chain on my bicycle broke,
  • They found me in the grass
  • with the sprocket in my … … pocket,
  • And the handle bars wrapped around my neck