What “Old” Means for Men

What is “old”? What does “old” mean when referring to a male person? Well, let me tell you…

Old is when you know lots of stuff, but you cannot remember half of it……but do not worry, the forgotten half will return…sometime…maybe…

Old is when your neurological system forgets there is an order to how it works. Rather, it just fires off random signals whether they are needed or not. Result? You feel aches, pains, and twitches even though there is no injury, no damage, and no immediate concern to your body.

Old is when physical pains occur randomly in your body and without provocation. They do not carry the same message of injury to the brain as when you were not old. The message now is not injury. The message currently is ‘your body is screwed up!’ Which, of course, it is.

Old is when your cognitive system cannot recall what you did 30 minutes ago, but does have flashing thoughts about what you did 30 years ago.

Old is when your emotional system drives you up and spirals you down, regardless of the circumstances. It is when men finally realize their spouse was correct. Men do have emotions (which can be very upsetting to many).

Old is when a man finally learns to cry (but he may still be embarrassed about it).

Old is when emotional inundation in a man is like a ‘fish out of water’ experience.

Old is when you come to a restroom, you decide to drop-in rather than waste the opportunity.

Old is when you cannot remember where you parked your car before going into the supermarket just minutes ago, but you can remember where you parked your car at the first college football game you attended.

Old is when you look into the bathroom mirror, and then wonder how your name got mixed up with the good-looking chap whose picture is in your high school yearbook.

Old is when the blue pill, or any of those other similar pills, do not work anymore.

Old is when you do not care that the blue pill no longer works.

Old is when a good night’s sleep is one that occurs in more than one-hour increments or occurs with no more than two visits to the toilet.

Old is when you prefer the activity of sleep when you are in bed, rather than the other activity for which you used your bed when you were not old.